tempted...again...

temptatoin
the anibriation
of the mind
like an aboration
from behind
you get cought
blind...sided
and become
divided
its fine
if you dont care
the inside
but when you
look for more
and temptation
comes knocking
at the door
its so hard
not to answer
should just be like
"damn her"
but what can you do
you answer
and temptation comes in
a cute little grin
maybe a bottle of booze
maybe just a box
of condims
what can you say
its hard to be like
go away
sometimes its harder to say
go ahead and stay
either way
the next day
its pain and regrets
temptation begets
temptation
espacpe begets
retaliation
but against who
against you
or myself
against life
or my health
to escape the temptation
requires
unparalled concentration
a will
and diliberation
prevention
but never retaliation
just patience
and love
and a few prayers
to my friend up above
for forgivness and strength
for hope at each day break
and maybe some guidence
so i wont make this mistake

sexy....mmmk

so i read this article in my friends magazine called..."how not to write a sex scene" or something like that. and i was like...damn, i havent written a sexy poem in like a year...probably since i wrote one for my ex...and she didnt really appriciate poetry so its been a while...maybe more than a year. well either way i hope this doesnt hurt your eyes...or your pants...or anything else involved in the process of digesting this writing.

its been so long
i miss a kiss
the soft pressure
of lip against lip
or the touch of fingers
tracing the tip
down from my hair
across my skin
i miss a firm grip
of my hands on hips
or flicking of tounges
across hardend nips
soft hair caressing
and skin against skin
rubbing togther
wetness within
the begging of flesh
hoping the be pressed
the shortness of breath
and grabbing a breast
i miss all the passion
romance and tension
the heart that races
when ever shes mention
so as soon as were togther
times in suspension
intertwindened fingers
moans that will linger
i love when she comes
the pleasure you bring her
pulling hair
having no care
except for the moment
and what gets trapped there

let my fingers do the talkin

i havent really wanted to write the past few days...i dunno why but i cant seem to find my ju-ju. on the other hand i said i was going to write every day this month and i missed the first day. but i made it up. and now im like...hmmm......to write or not to write. that is the question. so i try to be a man of my word. and when i screw things up i like to fix em or at least do what i can, so i guess i better get writing. mwahahahaha!!!

how to be
who you want to be
how to change
from what you see
to what you want to see
and survive everything
that lies in between
it so insane
trying to survive
the change
and remain
different but the same
it may seem like a game
but its so real to me
i feel the pain
so every day
in my knees and pray
what can i say
i dont wanna stay
not where im at
i wanna go away
to that place
where life is great
but i im not sure its there
its always in conflict
on this earth im trapped
constantly a convict
where people are trapped
and usually lawless
i wanna escape
to where we are honest
so again i turn to you
the one to pull me through
help me up when im down
and feel good when when im blue
im so lost so often
i dont kno what to do
but i put my trust in you
and dont feel like a fool

another one bites the dust

hey man whats up
ive really been missing you
i wanna say you havent been there
but i know lately i havent been comin around
ive been readin what you got to say
thinkin a bit about it
but i dont like what it says
so i dont wanna come to you with it
i kno i need to
to plead with you
and beg you for understanding
i cant make it on my own two
but i wanna
id love to
but i cant
and to turn to you
kills my pride
makes me wonder about the man ive been
and the man you want me to be
and how ill ever reconcile the two
i kno youll forgive me
but i dont wanna look back
and regret what ive seen
id rather sit back
and just regret my being
my life was so easy before i met you
every thing changed
my whole picture of the world
the grass was greener
and i was weaker
every thing makes so much more sense
and the picture is so much clearer
and i wonder
when this window is so big
why cant we all see out of it
i dont quite get it all
the pieces fit
but i dont understand the picture
i know that with you though
itll all start to make sense
your so patient and kind
to my kind
id just leave us behind


i dont like this at all...but ugh i said good or bad id post it. so here ya go

ugg

ive been like i dunno pretty depressed lately. it sucks and im not sure why. i know a big part of it is since i got my thinggy sayin ill probably be published (its sorta a big deal to me cause its like the first step on a long road) i feel like nothing ive wrote is good and so ive been blockin up. so with retaliation to that, ive decided just to try new styles and rhyme forms, and i got the new Kanye West album (which is damn good) and its been inspirin me to write in more like song verse form. so thats good. in retaliation to the rest of my life? prayer, and good friends. i know in my heart only god can get me to where i want to be. but im pretty hard headed so i dont think itll be easy. so in regards to all that. i write. its a vicious cycle. well lets go for one more tonight.

umm...

12 steps
wouldnt it be nice
heres your answers
follow this advice
do this
things will be alright

but it aint that easy
to change this behavior
you dont just come in
like a black board with an earaser
it takes patience
prayer, and good neighbors

so i sit back with my eyes closed
as for a sign or
a way to survive so
i can be with my folk

like ruts in a road
we follow our path
to change directions
requiers more than just gas
it takes commitment
and a helping hand

im so blessed with what i have
why do i abuse it?
look for excuses
or a way convilute it
so change me this man
that runs right on through shit

so i sit back with my eyes closed
look for a sign or
a way to survive so
i can be with my folk

change me its hard
i cant do this solitary
i need a true friend
not just a commentary
so im asking again
for help but im weary

so give me the faith
i need go keep growing
give me that life
that i get from knowing
so i beg you once more
cause i feel like exploding

lately

my minds been hazy
i dunno why
but i been missin my baby
so i cry
but im ok see
look i lie

i been hurtin
but not desrvin
life is lurkin
and its hurtin

i been tryin to think
but cant shake my thoughts free
i been tryin not to drink
but its hard for me
i been tryin not to blink
cause all i want is sleep

i been stuck
not givin a fuck
down on my luck
feelin like "aww shucks"

feel like my prayers
are goin unanswered
been lookin down the stairs
and lookin for a damn friend
aint been combin my hair
cause i aint got no damn ends

i been living
barely appearin
slowly gettin near in
to my wasted spirit

why not

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1) write a novel
2)get married
3)have kids
4)travel even if its not to far away
5)eat...i love to eat
6)pray...and this should really be number 1
7)smile
7 things I can do:
1)write
2)read
3)love
4)please a woman
5)dance
6)cry
7)laugh
7 things I cannot do:
1)fight
2)drink (even though i really want to)
3)forget where i came from
4)worry less
5)reconcile with my past
6)stop loving life
7)ignore than voice in the back of my head
7 things that attract me to the opposite (same) sex:
1)hair
2)laugh
3)smile
4)loyalty
5)compassion
6)cuteness
7)t&a (hey im 21)
7 things that I say most often:
1)yeah
2)all right!
3)any thing from nopoleon dynamyte
4)do what your heart tells you(sarcastically but its along story)
5)im sorry
6)i didnt do it
7)i love you
7 celebrity crushes:
1)elisha cuthbert
2)natalie portman
3)jennifer connely
4)princess leah
5)heidi klum
6)anna kournikova
7)Gabrielle Union
7 people I want to do this:
do i kno 7 people?

just a little poem to encourage

encouragement comes
from the strangest places
the kinder words
or warm embraces
people push you
not even aware
at the wonder they create
but why would they care
encouragement hides
behind every corner
in a close friend
or a friendly loner
encouragement comes
so often from above
whether directly
or indirect love
a mother or father
sister or brother
some of the best kind
comes from a lover
a lover of souls
a giver of hope
encourages you to hold on
by the end of a rope
or soar so much higher
than ever imagined
delights of they heart
optic and aural
some of us find encouragment
comes after a quarrel
where ever you find it
never release
whether in love, hate
war, or peace

WHOOO HOOOO!!!!!

so yesterday i got my mail. which usually consists of 1 bill. thats it nothing specail. but i had two envelopes so i figure...1 bill telling me what i owe...1 bank statement telling me i dont have it. no biggie. so today i actually decide to asses the damages and low and behold...i bill telling me how much i owe. i wont tell you cause its nonya business and because i still havent opened it. but the other envelope...oh the other envelope.....(pauses for dramatic effect).......it was a letter from poetry.com telling my my poem has been accepted into the semi finals and i could potentially win a prize...but also im gonna be published *faints*. i mean ive been writing for YEARS and never thought i could get published but i finally decided what they hey lets give it a try. so i entered the contest and BAM here i go on my way to superstardom. well maybe not but i will be in a book. *dances* so since ive never put this poem on my page ill put it up now for your optik enjoyment

To Explain

how to capture this feeling
with words alone
id need 1000 pictures
and its still not enough
there so much to say
and so little time
your always in my thoughts
in the back of my mind
its so hard to explain
and you wont understand
i wish i could tell you
with the touch of my hand
just run em down your cheek
and look in your eyes
look back in mine
i promise they wont lie
i cant say the words
but you know the feeling
i hope this never stops
i beg it god willing

so there ya have it hope you enjoyed as much as the "Selection Committee" did!