grounding

ive been searching through my words
for the feeling, the emotion
but lately ive been hurt
just holding on to devotion

i never mind the struggles
and i wont bitch about the pain
but where my good things bubble
has been feeling pretty drained

i can only do for you
the things that you will let me
knowing the things your going through
they affect me directly

when i see you doubled over
eyes red, cheeks wet with tears
i help shoulder the boulder
of all those pent up years

those times your past haunts you
keeping you up through the night
in the morning i will want you
and ill tell you it will be alright

those times when i wither
feeling isolated and alone
your always in the picture
making an empty house a home

and those times when im drowning
feeling theres way to much to do
your words give me grounding
knowing we will pull it through

im sorry for my weakness
but im getting stronger in every way
and together we will beat this
lets just enjoy today

Lately I have seen the sun rise and set
for as long as i can remember
I have felt the asphalt vibrate and tell me
the story of the road
An endless supply of cups fill
an endless array of garbage cans
As the days begin to blur together
the night becomes harder to remember
Adventure though,
the adventure, the experience
the lessons
Keep me fully satisfied
The demands will break you down
and begin to show you
That where there was once weakness
there is now strength
Where doubt lingered
certainty has bloomed
To push harder, dig deeper
To slowly become the man
the human
the person
that you have always wanted to to become
It is the breakfast you devour when you wake
and the story you read before you dream
It fuels you and that passion
Will grow

lacy may

as your smell wears out
of my von zipper hoody
i realize
im gonna make it
ill miss you like crazy
the way you made me laugh
and smile
your long legs
your dark eyes
i called you cookie monster
and you called me baby
i loved you
and you loved me back
then you were gone
who knows besides fate
and maybe god
and perhaps the stars
if we will ever see each other again
but i miss you
just like ill miss your smell in my hoody
so will be my life
after you have worn away

monday night

I am alive
with feelings
dropping out
the bottom of my heart
and with passion
dripping out of my pores

fortuitous really
a charmed life
led with boot straps pulled up
and occasionally
pants around my ankles
I have loved and been loved
depending on what that means
Heartbroken...
thats with out a question
but always
with all of myself on the line
never content to be a shadow
but always afraid of the spot light

ever single memory
is
a different girl
on
a different bench
and me
im always the same
a rock
an island
the peninsula
lounging lazily in the sea
afraid to be a part of the mainland
but more afraid to be alone

Raton, NM

Feet against eh cracked pavement
The large summer sun
Dyes the world yellow
A balsa wood plane
Falls slowly from the sky
Held aloft by curious design

Feet pedaling down the hill
Dried, bleached grass
Filled with thistles
The slide is huge
And hot with the summer
I’m afraid like always

Feet drip dry by the pool
Clouds on the horizon
In time for the afternoon rain
Afghans, itchy couches
And the chair you don’t spin in
Well it begins to twirl

Kimberly

We stood on the bench
Watched the rain come down in sheets
And giggled
Like children
Like old friends reminiscing
Like old lovers still passionate
Despite the tests of time

I remember the first time I saw you
Wandering around the lobby
Black shirt, jeans,
Purple shoes
And those fancy lace socks
Who could see in that moment
What would become of us

You looked the best I ever saw you
The morning after
That first and worst night
We spent together
Sitting in your chair, no sleep
Hair up, voiced strained
Asking me to leave

Excited to breathe the mountain air.
Longing to feel it in my lungs.
Brown rough gravel alive beneath my boots.
As I press on, upwards.

Canopy of trees, broken by the sky.
Moist with morning dew.
Moss clinging to the trees.
This, is life giving life.

Following the trail of the river.
The cold lake water, chills you to the bone.
And drying in the son warms the soul.
Love gaining elevation.

Toes hurt from a steep descalation.
But the sight all change in the other direction.
Making hindsight moot.
Though still taking it on the long ride home.