a morning prayer

today i just pray
that youll guide me your way
take care of my problems
i kno you can solve em
this morning i pray
take my worries away
i dont need the stress
jesus i just need your rest
this afternoon i pray
you will keep me safe
i will need your muscle
so my body wont buckle
tonight i just pray
that you will keep my safe
protect me from my dreams
and all my minds things
this morning i pray
that you will bless this day
for my father and sister
you kno that i miss her
oh god i just pray
take my breath away
amaze me with your spirt
i want to be near it
so this morning i pray
and i pray and i pray
i kno that you hear me
i kno that your near me
so i pray

tired

i need sleep
even tough i dont want it
i hate dreams
even though i cant stop em
so i write most the night
sleep during the day
wait thats just my wish
i want things that way
im exhausted you kno
im tired of workin
why have a job
that leaves your fingers hurtin
its certian
theyre swollen
im tired
its showin
eyes saggin
feet shuffle
back sore
stomach rumbles
im tired and hungry
this cant be good
i need sleep and dinner
rest and food
ill probably get one
but i doubt the other
2 more days of work
i say oh brother
well now i must go
to either sleep or eat
start of my day
tired and beat

i hate thinking of titles....

why did i do it?
am i that fucking dumb
i regret it now
but no turning back
its for the better anyways
in the long run its worth
it would get harder with time
i kno it would
i kno it would
i kno it.......
unease
believe me
im full of unease
can you tell ive done this before
writtin about my feelings?
id say its different this time
but that would be a lie
its always different
so its always the same
the feelings
the drought of desire
the parched feeling in my chest
the knot in my stomach
anxious to go back into
to undue what ive done
to unmake what i can
i say "no regrets"
but thats really not true
i regret most of my life
most all i can remeber
from the ex to the pot
from the should haves to my moms
im a pretty bad guy
i dont seem it
people dont "see it"
but its there
lying under the surface
like the puss of a zit
ready to pop
when you see it your disgusted
i see it on your face
thats why i turn to god
even though i struggle
i kno its like a rainbow
at the end of it all
theres something better
something more
people say its a despreate hope
but its something i kno
like i kno the sun will rise
like i kno the leaves will fall in fall
its in my mind in my heart
in my soul and my body
even though i struggle
hurt
suffer
and pray sometimse for death
its all for the good
at the end of the rainbow

dear god

what can i do
im lost and uncertian
i gave it all up
and still i am hurting
i kno its not easy
its supposed to be hard
but what can i do?
i can go only so far
what do i need
to show you im willing
would i really die?
would i do the killing?
i cant say that i would
i cant say that youd ask
you kno all my limits
you kno all my lacks
i kno that your there
why am i ashemed to admit
is that why im so depressed
is that why i feel like shit?
ive given up what i kno
what more do you want
i abandoned drugs and the women
i gave you my heart
ive submitted my pride
but is all this the truth
humble me good
im begging of you
im at my wits end
ive been here before
this is where in comes the pot
and in comes the whores
is this bearing my cross?
all of these struggles
just show me god
let me kno that i love you
i kno i should proclaim you more
im terrible most the time
but at least i confess
at least i am trying
just release me please
free me of my suffers
let me show my heart
with you as my lover
the author of joy
the bring of pleasure
please take me jesus
make me feel all better
this world will kill me
minute by minute
take me away god
i dont wanna be in it
i would die for you
just to get to heaven
i dont love like im supposed to
by bread is unleavened
please let me rise
be filled with your joy
scream out your name
fill the hills with your noise
but this moment im still hurting
though a little bit less
i should write to you more god
when im feeling depressed

the daze

one of them days
where everything goes
nothing pushes forward
but nothing pushes back
the jokes are stale
the games no fun
just surviving
living and dying
lifes like that sometimes
what can you do
but shrug it off
and keep on pushing
living
breathing
eating
all the same shit
all the same day
well i guess its different
but its all the same
anyways
im tired
but i dont wanna sleep
my dreams haunt me
i dont wanna see em
im tired of waking up in a sweat
im tired of crying in my mind
why do i do it?
i really couldnt say
what do i dream about?
id rather not mention
its to painful to think about
at least while im awake
then another long day
work work work
then a little more sleep
but i dont wanna go
i can hardly stand it anymore
"some times im so depressed i can hardly get out of bed"
ya some times its like that
dragging
slacking
lacking
the drive, motivatoin, dedication, and diliberatoin
for proper consumation
of this worlds information
inflation
and conflabulation
i miss the old digs
when life was so fast
you didnt wanna miss a moment
no its so slow
i couldnt miss em if i closed my eyes
cause id dream
and some times a dream
is worse than reality

richard wurmbrand

so much they suffered
so much they gave
so hard they cried
all in his name
i couldnt believe the words
but i knew they wernt lies
about how hed seen his brothern
tourched and die
all for the christ
this is the love that im after
willing to die
or face a disaster
lose all my family
lose all my friends
thanks richard im convicted
and slowly it begins
i have nothing to lose
thier not gonna kill me
spit on me cut me
punch me and kick me
its so simple hear
is that why its so hard
with nothing to lose
its hard to find god
i read about you
and all that you gave
i want all that richard
the love and the pain
to carry my cross
and suffer for him
an unbeliveable story
happy and grim
so ill pray tonight quietly
for a piece of that faith
and i kno that ill get it
cause he is so great

a morning thank you note

thank you so much
for all that youve given
knowing you god
truly is livin
its not really easy
this life on this earth
but ive got you
thou i dont deserve
so thank you again
i dont kno how to express it
they joy that you give me
ill never regret it
i dont kno how i got it
or how why you picked me
your ways are so mysterious
but i kno your not tricky
so thank you again
for all that youve done
saving my soul
making me your son

sad sad goodbye

so much time
and so much connection
ill miss her imensly
theres no way i could describe
im hopeless you know
very sweet and romantic
she loved it you kno
she was so sweet and delicious
everything about her
made my heart beat a little faster
from the way she said "hey sexy"
to her hugs upon goodbye
but now ive said goodbye
ill kno itll be the last
its hard to say goodbye
when you know youll shed some tears
but its one of those things
you know you have to do
no matter how much you love em
its a sad sad goodbye
a time for no regrets
except the one your about to make
youll think about it often
as the future moves upon you
my eyes are wet with tears
as i write these simple words
thinking about this good bye
this sad sad goodbye
its once in a life time
theres a goodbye like this
ill never have another
cause ill never meet her again
i dont know how i did it
it took alot of courage
didnt know i was that brave
i guess im getting older
ignorance is bliss
we all know the truth hurts
but as you get wiser
you kno it better
and the scales start to tip
and this time they tipped
the direction of goodbye
and ill miss you beautiful girl
ill never quite be the same
you reminded me of me
and told me things i needed to hear
but if we get any closer
it might just kill me
when we met i wasent sure
i really hated my self
you told me i had beauty
and i believed you
so i cry and i cry
over this sad sad goodbye
but the obsticles where to many
and i was losing my heart
to you
so after this ill stop crying
ill just remeber all the good times
but right now
this minute
this moment
all thats on my mind is a
sad sad goodbye

today today

what a fun day
but i write anyway
wether skys are blue
or the weather is grey
but to day it was sunny
heard something funny
the homies off to college
man what a dummy
gues thats why he goes
wants to get smarter
goes back to skool
and works so much harder
so im just an idiot
sittin back kickin it
writin some rhymes
later ill be spit it
rippin wylin
when im not writin
in freetstlyn
crazy whyte boy
no reason for cryin
spent all day out side
now im inside chillin
glass of cold water
laid back on my pillow an
thinkin bout the future
where im gonna go
how im gonna make
with so littl flow
and oh so little dough
cant get poorer than this
85 cents in the back
pockets dont get sorer than this
but im sportin some hits
still losin my focus
dont let kno one kno this
i hardly kno anything
most of its bogus
some times you get cought up
over whealmed in the moment
you dont talk about it
you dont want to show it
silence is a virtue
when truth is at steak
itll make your heart break
things you dont wanna hear
things you really cant take
but who cares whats the difference
you emotionally inefficent
profiencent in deception
defficents not an exception
its the standard today
who cares about logic
its all relative anyway
shit what can i say
there no way to convience
exept inconvience
theres no defence against you
just partial indifference
at least thats what you want
but you wont get it from me
you want what ive got?


ugg i cant think of anything else...i really need some insperation

a girl..

ravishing
the kind of eyes
you cant describe
you search for words
but they escape you
like so many grains of sand
and lips so lucious
like a strawberry shake
soft and delicious
then kind you imagine in your dreams
but never find in your life
and a smile like candle
that lights entire rooms
beautifuls the word
but it doesnt feel like enough
cute beyond description
but thats just the was she is
words couldnt do her justice
or make her any more
mearly make her smile
and isnt that enough?

4 minute poem

ok im gonna write this poem in 4 minutes.....GO!

stop thinking im rushed
type fast i get flushed
face turns all girls
people be like he blushed
but im speadin
and weavin
coughin
and sneezin
this sickness
is hitless
most writers
are witless
no business with words
or any kind of tool
put em to work
they look like a fool
its hard to write rushed
type as fast as you think
no time to back space
no time to blink
but a 4 minute poem
aint a bad idea
got lots to say
and i kno you want to heea
some time my words
must not make sence
but when i say em out loud
its like jumpin a fence
to a new land
your not supposed to arive
but guess what you made it
and your sitll alive
1 minute left
and so much to write
1 minute left
maybe ill write more tonight
who knows
who can say
who cares
its quite a day
so im out ill catch you later
almost out of time
4 minute poem
could you call it a crime?

not bad for 4 minutes

hmm

well i wrote a post and accidently hit save instead of post. and now its gone. saved. but gone. fuck this thing.