i hate thinking of titles....

why did i do it?
am i that fucking dumb
i regret it now
but no turning back
its for the better anyways
in the long run its worth
it would get harder with time
i kno it would
i kno it would
i kno it.......
unease
believe me
im full of unease
can you tell ive done this before
writtin about my feelings?
id say its different this time
but that would be a lie
its always different
so its always the same
the feelings
the drought of desire
the parched feeling in my chest
the knot in my stomach
anxious to go back into
to undue what ive done
to unmake what i can
i say "no regrets"
but thats really not true
i regret most of my life
most all i can remeber
from the ex to the pot
from the should haves to my moms
im a pretty bad guy
i dont seem it
people dont "see it"
but its there
lying under the surface
like the puss of a zit
ready to pop
when you see it your disgusted
i see it on your face
thats why i turn to god
even though i struggle
i kno its like a rainbow
at the end of it all
theres something better
something more
people say its a despreate hope
but its something i kno
like i kno the sun will rise
like i kno the leaves will fall in fall
its in my mind in my heart
in my soul and my body
even though i struggle
hurt
suffer
and pray sometimse for death
its all for the good
at the end of the rainbow