memories

My minds replete
With deleted scenes
Of things I've seen
And dreams
Of things that bring
The scenes I dream
To breathe into focus
But the effects
Of time
Weed and wine
Confusing lines
And confounding lies
That undoubting supplies
Why I cant find
The memories
And explanations
Of better dreams
And destinations
Of what I've missed
Due to procrastination
And those I’ve kissed
In my past when wasted
Perhaps a deeper reflection
On information I’ve collected
Would let me find memories neglected
That I could then inspect
And upon inspection
Discover reflections
Of thoughts left unmentioned
And dreams left for dead
Words I’ve said
And decisions made
Resound in my head
But they’re not interlaid
Instead they unintwine
The longer in my mind
Till I can no longer find
Memories once held tight
So photographs
And written word
Help me track
What has occurred?
So when I compose
Upon this tablet
I hope my prose
Will leave me impacted

i need to let the words flow
the ink bleed
the pen sow
and the reader reap
its a sticky situation
the constant diliberation
the waiting building patiences
for some powerful eqivocation
and ive been known
to be combustable
ive shown that im
untouchable
people constantly underestimate
underappricate
and devalue
whats malible
but right now im on track
to become the most valuable
its a patient

conflictions

how is one so smart
so often confused
that works so hard
so often subdued
has so much talent
yet cant find the words
so i drink by the gallon
and puff on the herb
one so prideful
is so easily humbled
one so mindful
so easily stumbles
some one thats such a lover
so often hurt
a friend or mother
not those that deserve
how come some one so friendly
is so often alone
the bottle is emptied
while i sit at my home
why can one that loves god
hardly ever find him
while those with out laws
stumble into him blindly
how can one with so much joy
be staggered with sarrow
one with so many ploys
not predict tomarrow
one with so much passion
be filled with such doubt
the rain keeps on pouring
but im stuck in this drought
how can we search for peace
when we create the war
as we cure one disease
we discover 10 more
how do we be ourselves
when were all the same
can we covet the wealth
to cover the pain
as everthing becomes corperate
we crave individiuals
the poor become more helpless
left to fend for them selves
if we privatize water
we copratize life
balancing survival
on profits sharp knife
can we fight for freedom
and be peaceful and passive
can one man defeat them
unless backed by the masses
can we pray for forgivness
when we thrive for our sins
can i get a witness
that im not at my end
do we care global woarming
is set to destroy
when tomarrow morning
is still here to enjoy
can the ink that i use
bleed what my hart feels
or will i be subdued
untill i am killed?

my battles not against gangsters and thugs
my battles against the flesh and the blood
against principalities and powers
that in my darkest hours
tear at my soul and look to devour
the things i hold dear
change the man that i am
from a lover to a fighter
create a beast from a man
and i know the plan
but despite my best efforts
in always so desperate
to find out whats left
in this world
im so reckless
and as i check down the check list
for all that ive got left
i realize my best wits
have nothing to offer but fuel for scoffers
and words for the knockers
lines for cock blockers
and i may never be a chart topper
but i wont be no chart stalker
ill be a proper lyricist
a untouchable rhymer
a serious nemisis
of all the two timers
you cant sell out and buy in
you cant shell out and still win
invest wisely and gamble with smart
or youll be beat quickly with out a fair start

happy mothers day

how many years has it been
almost 24
and i pray to god
for at least that many more

i cant recount the times
youve been there to save me
and i hope im getting stronger
knowing thats how you raised me

theres been a few bad times
but many more good
and most of the bad once
we were misunderstood

two people so different
with so much in common
if you think i dont remember
i promise i havent forgotten

the tings that youve told me
to help make me a man
the way youve described
things i didnt understand

all the times that youve prayed
to god up in heaven
that this bread thats from you
would not go unleavened

and youve seen me decended
at the bottom of life
and now im ascending
with you at my side

i couldnt be the man that i am
if you were not there
guiding me teaching me
even when i wasent there

and hope to make you proud
and able to smile
as i become a man
i know its taken a while

so i just wrote this poem
that i write this time of year
to let you know through it all
my love for you's shining clear