Saturday, October 29, 2005

so often

so often i wish
for the woman im missing
the one gods created
and ill one day be kissing
so often i hope
for the love that we'll share
her hands on my cheek
my hands in her hair
so often i dream
of who she will be
have i met her already?
is she waiting for me?
so often i pray
for gods gracious protection
over this woman
he'll send my direction
so often i think
of how she will smile
how she will dance
and her lovely profile
so often i strive
to be a man that deserving
that she can love and trust
depend on when shes hurting
so often i look
foward to that time
when ill see her face
and she will see mine
so often i thank him
for making this dream
of my future wife
and what she means to me

Friday, October 28, 2005

a lonely man

octobers almost over
winters setting in
the leaves are off the trees
and theres a bite to the wind
there was a man sleeping by the dumpster
father is it a sin
that i stole some food from work
and gave it to him?
it made my stomach ache
to see him sleeping there
head resting by the dumpster
the only dry place anywhere
its been with my since i saw him
his lost and lonly eyes
part of my wanted to stay
right there by his side
his voice was soft and faint
as he thanked me for the food
i felt like i was in his space
as i tried not to be rude
i told him god bless
wished him a wonderful day
i couldnt hear his words
if he had anything to say
i hope he had a friend
that he could tell about me
i dont need to be promoted
i just dont want him to be lonely
i hope it brings a smile
and fills his empty soul
and i hope it fills his stomach
as he shivers in the cold
i wish i could have done more
like offered him a home
a job and a warm shower
so he wouldnt be alone
offered him a friend
at least i offered him a smile
bless the poor man father
he needs you more than i
my stomach turns with sarrow
as i think about his plight
it was cold and rainy at 3:30
ill be thinking of him tonight

Thursday, October 27, 2005

escape from myself

as i look in side my heart
i realize how weak i am
as i look upon your word
im so weak i can barely stand
im sickened by my self
my sin drives me insanity
i need your love now father
help me to find the man in me
im putred and perverse
cought in the evils of my mind
but i call your name father
dont leave me behind
im shallow weak
and i cant be trusted
if lied ive cheated
hated and lusted
just today father
so forgive me please
i kno i can trust you
im down on my knees
i need your grace now
your mercy and faithfullness
i need your love father
ill be briming with gratefullness
again ive tried
and again ive failed
tried to hold strong
but fell and failed
but your hands catche me
strong and sure
by you im saved
your mercy is pure
i dont deserve this
this reprive from true judgement
only by you ive recived this
grace from my punisment
so i thank you father
but call on your name
thank you for your love
and keep making me change

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Psalm 37:7-9

heres a poem i wrote to my memorizatoin verse for the week. im going to try to have a verse a week with my homie daniel, and write a poem for the verse every week. ill pray it goes well.

7 Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who
prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out
wicked schemes.
8Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing
9For evildoers will be cut off,
But those who wait for the Lord,
they will inherit the land

when i am tired
i will offer you myself
let me rest
for im wak without your help
i will wait for you Lord
and where your hand will guide me
if im ever with out you
ill wait till your beside me
i will not worry
because of what they gain
ill trust in you Father
for me your Son was slain
i will not do evil
though it is in my heart
i want nothing but you Father
please just write my part
i will not be hateful
nor full of wrath and stryfe
i will not cause havoc
but seek your peace in my life
i will not fret
and let evil become my ways
i will call upon you Lord
and follow you all of my days
i will not be cast out
im written in the book
ill wait upon you Father
to you i will look

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

waiting on the lord

Desperately, helplessly, longingly,
I criedQuietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait!”
“’Wait?’, You say, ‘wait’!” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.
“My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and You tell me to wait?
I'm needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign
,Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.
“And, Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And, Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!”
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As the Master replied once again,
“You must wait.”So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, “So, I'm waiting… for what?”
He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
“All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want—but, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
“You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
“You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save… (for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
“The glow of my comfort late into the night.
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked
Of an Infinite God, Who makes what you have last.
“You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!
“So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though my answers seem terribly late,
My wisest of answers is still but to wait.”

author unknown

please father

my heart is so weak
god please let me weep
get out these tears
and reach for your peace
show me your spirit
i want to be near it
to know you better
and learn how to weather
these storms in my life
bring hurt and stryfe
i create storms myself
and lust after wealth
lust after beauty
lust after cuties
lust after ones i meet
and after some discreet
but you know my thoughts
and how they are frough
you know my mind
and how its so blind
i need your eyes
by my side
you to be near me
and keep me when im weary
god i need you now
please show me how
im so weak alone
and hard like a stone
so bless me lord
as the lion roared
fill my ears with your word
by you let me be lured

running

pounding on the pavement
to the rythm in my ears
fighting back the pain
refusing to shed tears
the heat sears up my side
the water wells
to my eyes
how did i come to this
so weak
my body screams
with every step
why was i so stupid
to let my self do this
i let my body go
now i must recoup it
my throuts dry
and my lungs burn
my heart pounds
and my shins hurt
my side screams
with every step
my insides bleed
with every breath
i should have been smarter
now i start from the begining
i could have kept it up
instead of relenting
now i pay for it
with every stride
i doesnt hurt i swear
i tell my self the lie
but i keep on pushing
and keep on striving
im taking my body
to living from dying

Monday, October 24, 2005

today

i wrote today. it was sort of personal and about some one and i dont know who will read this. so todays poem was a journal only. but i thought id tell yall that i did do my writing. you just dont get to read it!:)

Sunday, October 23, 2005

mmm....postage

a mind freed
emancipation
a decloratoin
a sudden
intoxication
of joy
that permaties
the soul
that deliniation
of truth
a true living proof
a breath of fresh air
that fills the lungs
ignites the cardiac system
pumps through your veins
and brings truth
and proof
to your body
brings reason to doubt
and logic to confusion
brings meaning to life
and stops the intention verbal dilusion
heals the contusions
and returns
every thing to its proper place
the discoloratoin of the soul
is a sickness not easily heald
and remedy not easily revealed
but never concealed
seek
and find
ask and recieve
why ask me
when what you want is he
the love
the life
the truth
the right
its there waiting
patiently
loving endlessly
and all that stops you
is you