baby blue

the day i got you
i knew youd be true
your worth every penny
baby blue
ive ridden you hard
and you stuck with me like a tard
but then you screwed me
baby blue
i just wanted to go home
a quick ride alone
and your damn cheap chain broke
baby blue
but ill fix you up
youll feel like million bucks
though you only cost 20
baby blue

my baby blue bike

i have a nice little bike. its a baby blue bmx made by the "harrow" company. its called a "shredder." i bought this bike as contraband aka stolen goods, on my birthday last year (oct 16 for any one who wants to get me a present). i didnt buy it cause i liked it, or cause it kicked ass, tbought i do like it and it does kick ass. i bought it cause i was waiting for the bus, since i had sold my car, with about 300 bucks in my pocket. also waiting for the bus where a group of vagabond kids, one of which i happened to know being a vagabond my self. i noticed they were selling something for $20 bucks, and so i thought id see what it was. turns it it was a baby blue harrow, shredder. there was a kid sitting on it haggling for a raincheck on the bike, and i go to the kid selling the bike, "how much you want for it?" the kid on the bike goes "im buying the bike" and the same time the seller goes "20 bucks." so being the gentalmen vagabond that i am i asked the kid on the bike "you got 20 bucks?" he offered a defiant "no" so i gave the kid selling it 20 bucks looked at the kid on the bike and said "get off my bike" took the bike, put it on the busses bike rack and went home. by now you must be wondering why im telling you all this because any one who knows me knows that i dont just tell shit like this with out a point. so heres why this matters. tonight after washing dishes for 9 and a half hours as im literally feet away from the doors at work my chain on my pos 20 dollar bike breaks. and so im sitting there debating with my self if i should either just fuck the bike and leave it there or push it home. well i decided a chain is cheap so i pushed my 20 dollar bike home 2 miles. and if youve ever been to bremerton washington you kno there is NO flat ground. it is literally ALL hills. i promise im not exaggerating either. so tomarrow im going to buy a chain, which will probably run me another 20 dollars bringing the total of this bike to 40 dollars.....hey im not doin that bad with it. so theres my gripe for the night. hope you enjoyed!

old friends

old friends die hard
you think theyre gone
and theyre back again
old friends die hard
i guess thats why theyre
old friends
youve moved so far beyond
and they pull you back
you think your past those times
and then once again your trapped
old ways and old digs
with old friend you dont miss
whats the difference now
you dont wanna make em upset
but whys it matter to you
dont they have some regrets?
maybe maybe not
its not like there gonna say
"hey sorry about that time"
they just need some one to waste away ther days
you gonna go or ya gonna stay
you gonna kiss and make up?
or be like yo man get away
we had our time
its in the past
it could have been better
but you didnt want it to last
just remeber the past
and all that stuff that was "a blast"
what happened to us man
why are things so different
we were so close man
now were compleatly inefficent
who knows whats the difference
as long as were still livin
but thats not how i play it
theres more to this than my givin
its give and take
that was my first mistake
and you want me for some more
to help you with your stake
in life and living
but i dont want to be giving
i guess ill try it once more
but thats all your getting

raving and ranting...or is it ranting and raving

ok before anything else you must go to www.engrish.com its awesome...im bout to go shopping! so lets see. i miss my x terribly....its been like 6 months...arnt guys supposed to get over this shit easily? arg i dunno. i just wish that i could be happy. i dont need her back, i dont want to forget about her. i just wish i could be at peace with it. i feel like im fighting vietnam in my head. damned if i do damned if i dont. besides that theres so much going on that i dont want to get into it. like if i do ill be ranting for hours and i dont wanna write it and you dont want to read it. so ill spare us all. work kicks my ass. i cant wait to start my internship. im still skinny. i bought new shoes and a hat to match. it makes me feel good now and then. i love shoes *heart*. being single is hard. wandering eyes make it harder. trusting god to find the right woman for me is hard. having wandering eyes makes it harder. my nose just started bleeding. it dropped a nice fat drop right on my 50 dollar eddie beauer kahkis. : i love my pants. theyre soaking in water. im now pant less. ugh what a morning. i say that cause its 1243...am bastards. and i need to pray. theres so much to think about and to do and my life is so easy and slow mo. i dont kno how these people stay so busy and sane. well no i guess alot of em are nuts as hell. still they do so mcuh. i do so little and im still so stressed. maybe i just need to get laid..to bad i swore that off. seriously i want to be the best man i can for the wife god has for me. im stuck between a rock and a hard place...and i dont think god or my sex drive are going anywhere soon. at least i kno god can and will win. well im gonna go i guess. maybe ill write a poem again in a minute...and dont for get www.engrish.com


addendum. i keep reading about katrina. and i have to say though this will piss most if not all of the people who read this off. please stop donating to katrina relief. the red cross cant do that much and they take a huge chunk of your money. the armed forces are in charge of damn near ALL the relief effort ( i kno cause my mom went to new orleans as a nurse and they sent her back cause the armies taking over) anyways the government is footing the WHOLE bill. every red cent and that means by you paying taxes you already get to contribute. please please. dont waste all your money on organizations that will eat half of it when your already paying for all this anyways. send food, send water, send clothes, dontate what you can. but STOP sending your money. sorry i had to say it no one else will.

the x again...

why do i miss her
i shouldnt have kissed her
that first night in my bed
i should have just dissed her
sent her home all alone
stayed alone on my own
but i tried to kiss back
and then it was on
three years later im lost
i dont yet kno the cost
i just know that i miss her
and it hurts me alot
i write about her so much
i bet she dont give a fuck
shed read all these words
then just be like so what?
but maybe im wrong
and shes singing a sad song
maybe her nights are like my nights
long long long....long...
either way what can i say
to this day shes far far away
i miss her though dearly
and thats why i pay
and if ever again we kiss
ill always cherish those lips
and never lose again
everything that ive missed
so before i sleep ill say my prayers
for my x and all my players
thats only one who can save em
that one who cannot be compared

thats a good word

so i read this blog that can be found at.... http://thatsagoodword.blogspot.com/ and basically its just a bunch of words that these two people find while they read that they look up in a dictionary and then post the deffinition and the context its used in. so since that was a run on sentance, and i so throughly enjoy the site im going to use as many of the words as i humanly can in this poem. if at the end it makes absolutly no sence thats because i just got off an 11 hour day (washing dishes), ive been up a long long time, and i've never heard of a shit load of these words. oh ya and its gonna rhyme:)

the repudiation of balaclava
lead to expedient use of java
and a lugubrious entrapment
with a mullion made of askance
my dementia praecox
as the chanticleer cocks
makes me callow once again
like a nascent escarpment

it would be longer but im out of words *shrug*

chaging?

day to day i pray
for some change to come my way
from the man you see before you
stuck in misery
from nothing to something
from death to life
its easy to get lost
staring at the night
i pray for guidence
a new direction
i place to rest
and a little affection
its hard to change
when your so think skulled
become soft clay
from a hard mold
i so mishapen
so often mistaken
i need to god
to save this forsaken
the soul is yours
i beg you please
change me god
im on me kness
what you see before you
is weaker every moment
my shell is slowly cracking
i hope that i can show it
if you see it believe
its not there to decieve
i want when you see me
to finally believe
with a heart for my lord
and a life truly devoted
to love and to share
that is my motive

i want to be

the finger tips that caress you
the fingers intertwined in yours
the hands you love to hold
the arms that keep you safe
the shoulders that support your world
the chest you love to kiss
the stomach that loves your food
the back you love to rub
the hips that sway with you
the legs that stride for your satisfaction
the knees that are weak for you
the feet that walk with you forever
the neck you rest your head against
the chin that rubs against yours
the lips you love to kiss
that nose that loves your smell
the eyes that you love to watch
the ears that love your voice
the head that always thinks of you

last night

i wrote a poem earlier i really liked and it got deleted:. i kno i kno. cut and paste it, do it in word then copy it over. ive heard em all and i say phoey. they words in my mind i kno can only be transcribed once and if after they are put to life they are destroyed so be it. there will always be pleanty more, this i kno. so to prove that point i will write another, maybe better, maybe worse, ill leave that for you to decide.


words are obserd
when used to purturb
thats why you must learn
to curb your words
so theyre not used to hurt
i mean who is to deserve
when you use these evil words
you must be paitent
with the gradient
of evil when your sayin it
words are a tool
used more often by fools
to leave us all in duels
with your selves
with our values
with no help
and no real fuel
but to use languange
to make changes
and change faces
what could be greater
then a great liberator
a wordly creator
so use your syntax carefully
and your get baks sparingly
then we can all relax fully care free

postage

well its been to long since ive written down my thoughts in any form but prose. so much has been in my mind lately its hard to sort it all out or make it a clear picture. im reading atlas shrugged by ayn rand and its an increadable book, and an increadable insperation to the book im slowly begining to form in my head. and thats one thing ive been thinking about and realizing. a book is not just a thing you sit down and begin one day. its a process of thought and design. of problems you encounter and must solve. some problems external, some problems internal, and some problems in the story itself which you both have to create and destroy. ive decided i dont just want my book to be a read but a jouney, or oddesy if you will into the minds of all my characters and the world they live in. i want it to be an experince that you go back to not just to remember the great story but to help you understand you life as well is my life as well as my characters lives. i want me book to push your thoughts farther then you normally let them go and at the same time bring them closer to who you are then you knew they could be. i dont expect for it to be easy and im not sure when ill write the first words but the story is unfolding and the characters are being designed. i dont want them just to be a "character" but i want them to be full created people, if you were to ask each one their favorite color, or what they wanted in the opposite sex they would have an answer ready, and the answer wouldnt just help describe who they were but would be who they were. i dont want my characters to be static, i want them in motion, evolving and changing. i want them to be more than characters but people. and i want their world why they exisist and how life is to be real. i kno much of what will be in the book, and i kno much of these peoples lives will never make the text. much of who they are will exisist but it will never be known by anyone but me. their lives and who they are will be vivid and alive and so when i being my book it will be a journy with friends like ive never taken before. with that i write a poem. ^_^

i miss you
the talk of the past
and your hopes for my future
i wish i had gotten to kno you better
i miss you
and your laugh
and the way you said stupid
so i wanted to write these letters
i want to make you proud
when you look down upon me from heaven
when you see you grandson
i want you to see a man
who your proud to call your own
i remeber you funeral
and the hunderds of people
im lucky to have had you in my life
i know your the source
of my moms wonderous strength
and i thank you for it again
i miss your kisses
when your whiskers scratched me cheeks
and i miss your jokes
i tell them to this day
"why dont they send donkeys to college...
cause no one likes a smart ass"
i miss your hands
strong and true
able to do anything
the models
the locks
smacking your lips
to call the cat
i miss your yelling
and always demanding my best
when ever you were near
i wanted to stick out my chest
i miss being able to see you
i wish we had more time
of all the people in my life
i dont think i ever knew
how much you meant to me
so many opportunities
i should have taken
and thanks to you next time i will
i miss you grandpa
and i love you
i cant wait to see you again

its early....to eary for titles...

i write so many words
that never touch the page
so many lines
that outline my rage
so set the stage
cock the guage
let it be known
thats what here stays
i didnt come to play
to slay or go away
i came to say
get in your way
and run the show
like a pastor on sunday
so many people
read words that theyve written
love what they wrote
and feel oh so smitten
but when im hittin
im writin rhymes unexistin
and all of your words
will seem so unfittin
but dont get all jelaous
you and ya fellas
im workin in the plant
my nick names the smelta
came up the detla
to deal your death blow
put you in the melta
and watched ya go slow
and thats how it goes
when ya not on ya toes
ya gotta be quick
if you wanna stay in clean clothes
but i dont want em clean
i spitty so dirty
lemme grab my thesoraus
and make it more wordy
spit words so confusin
ya all call me nerdy
but im puttin sanction
on explanations
ill use my own extrapolations
to disect your lyrics
and then put you in the basment
see im patient
i got moments to spare
and im at the station
i kno how to get there
where your goin
your destinations known
i see your identity
your disguise has been blown
and your shown a weakness
when i speak about uniqueness
im at the top
and your facin bleakness