postage

well its been to long since ive written down my thoughts in any form but prose. so much has been in my mind lately its hard to sort it all out or make it a clear picture. im reading atlas shrugged by ayn rand and its an increadable book, and an increadable insperation to the book im slowly begining to form in my head. and thats one thing ive been thinking about and realizing. a book is not just a thing you sit down and begin one day. its a process of thought and design. of problems you encounter and must solve. some problems external, some problems internal, and some problems in the story itself which you both have to create and destroy. ive decided i dont just want my book to be a read but a jouney, or oddesy if you will into the minds of all my characters and the world they live in. i want it to be an experince that you go back to not just to remember the great story but to help you understand you life as well is my life as well as my characters lives. i want me book to push your thoughts farther then you normally let them go and at the same time bring them closer to who you are then you knew they could be. i dont expect for it to be easy and im not sure when ill write the first words but the story is unfolding and the characters are being designed. i dont want them just to be a "character" but i want them to be full created people, if you were to ask each one their favorite color, or what they wanted in the opposite sex they would have an answer ready, and the answer wouldnt just help describe who they were but would be who they were. i dont want my characters to be static, i want them in motion, evolving and changing. i want them to be more than characters but people. and i want their world why they exisist and how life is to be real. i kno much of what will be in the book, and i kno much of these peoples lives will never make the text. much of who they are will exisist but it will never be known by anyone but me. their lives and who they are will be vivid and alive and so when i being my book it will be a journy with friends like ive never taken before. with that i write a poem. ^_^

i miss you
the talk of the past
and your hopes for my future
i wish i had gotten to kno you better
i miss you
and your laugh
and the way you said stupid
so i wanted to write these letters
i want to make you proud
when you look down upon me from heaven
when you see you grandson
i want you to see a man
who your proud to call your own
i remeber you funeral
and the hunderds of people
im lucky to have had you in my life
i know your the source
of my moms wonderous strength
and i thank you for it again
i miss your kisses
when your whiskers scratched me cheeks
and i miss your jokes
i tell them to this day
"why dont they send donkeys to college...
cause no one likes a smart ass"
i miss your hands
strong and true
able to do anything
the models
the locks
smacking your lips
to call the cat
i miss your yelling
and always demanding my best
when ever you were near
i wanted to stick out my chest
i miss being able to see you
i wish we had more time
of all the people in my life
i dont think i ever knew
how much you meant to me
so many opportunities
i should have taken
and thanks to you next time i will
i miss you grandpa
and i love you
i cant wait to see you again