words

i find when im writing
the words im dividing
leave a clear picture
of the life im surviving
but when ever the writing
becomes less exciting
then the life im living
it comes time for deciding
stoppings not an option
thought its often concidered
its not that i dont want to
im just a bad quitter
and when ever my finger
gets close to the trigger
and i feel all boxed in
the world gets bigger
the picture gets sharper
and the words more defined
yet when i redefine them
where can i put the line?
i search and i search
but again the answers are hidden
id give the days of my life
for one true to life vision
a glipse of the future
and what it has to offer
but i kno that that vision
would only make me softer
and it wouldnt really make
the fall any nicer
even if you kno your dreaming
it still hurts throught the nightmare
so as i focus my words
nouns adjectives and verbs
i look for a rhyme
thats truely superb
but i find that im lacking
what ever im seeking
i want to possess it
but the secrets not leaking
so ill finish speaking
talking and tweaking
all of these words
untill they have meaning

red again

as i look at my skin
the red drips down
as i look at my sin
i clearly see the noun
it is me
i am its being
and every time i escape
im back here bleeding
i cant get clean
i live in crimson
escape is impossible
im a living prison
thats why i write this
i could never escape
try to be a straight line
im just a distorted shape
i need that love
pure unadultrated agape
to clean me up
im livin so sloppy
my skins been stained
will it always be scarlet
can i ever be clean
freed from this darkness
who could pull me through
and wash me clean
id die for escape
but im losing steam
stuck again hurting
lost life is gone
what can i do
for the next breaking dawn
will i survive till then
when im barely above water
living this life
full of death and slaughter
so please save me father
let me escape
from this deadly life
thats wrapped around my nape

gone and back

as i sit back and think
and praise myself
i realize that
ive reached grave health
thinkin im living
givin out what im missin
stuck in my life
and frequently trippin
try to fallow a plan
and i cant even land
thinkin itll happen
i really need a hand
i fall on myself
plannin my life
think it goin on
but im losin the nights
dear god save me
will i be alright
its easy to get lost
even with proper focus
still fallin off
but thats how it goes shit
i can barely stay
with you
most of the time
rest of my thoughts
are lost on the grind
the life that i left
and regulary try to lose
dear god take this moment
please cut me loose
not from your self
but this life
thats got me trapped
let me focus on you
my walk and my raps
i sit here typin
reflectin on you
but i depend on myself
and every time im through
its foolish i kno
thats why i need you god
please show
how to escape this facad
this deceptive life
that always draws me in
leaves me defeated
and searching again
i think that i stopped
but some where i screwed up
lost sight of you
and got stuck on the bucks
stuck on the blunts
the drink and and the cracks
when dear god
can i have the last laugh
will it ever happen
that i look on my past
see that its gone
it truely has past
every time i look back
i get cought in the moment
back to the old shit
livin for the hope that
the game has changed
and the friends remain
but i head back again
and its always the same
i need to be tamed
changed from with in
stop with the frontin
and call on you my friend
its lost on me
all this shit i see
its crushing me father
i can barely breath
the lies that it takes
to keep this life alive
id rather have you
lettin me ride
please god come
free me tonight
i could go on and on
about how much i need you
i kno that your there god
i truely believe you
so ill only say it once more
how much i need you
ill do anything
even if i have to bleed too

mmk

as i long for you i find
the life i left behind
had even less to offer
than what i had in mind
the thruth you let me see
has truley set me free
and slowly shapes me into
the man you want me to be
and as i learn to trust in you
and the things youve pulled me through
i find the more i learn
the more there is to truth
teach me proper fear
and to hold you near
and put you before in my life
every thing i hold dear
by you all things sustain
and through you all remains
your constant in my life
and your goodness will never change
so i pray silently father
that you would dutifully follow
you and all your truth
from today into tomarrow
and let me always trust
be far from my lust
and trust in your judgement
for it is always just
so again i beg you lord
pierce me on your sword
and bring me back to life
as one who loves your words

just a quicky

once again my friend
i begin to wield my pen
looking for an end
to all that i begin
when i began i ran
if i stopped i couldnt stand
so i ran and ran and ran
till i formed a plan
but the formulation failed
left me hurt and ailed
but my persuers trailed
and competitors failed
but still i was unsatisfied
disapointed on whom i relied
let down by all i had tried
so i sat and cried....and cried
inside i wishing for more
than what this life had had in store
made me feel like a whore
so i fell to my kness and my clothes i tore
i stormed the castles
wresteled the vassal
he was a hassle
but in the end it raised a cackle
from my lungs
and i was stunned
i fought and won
the day was done
but i still felt empty
looking for plenty
found the penny
and bled the enemy
but he was my self
and i lost my heath
lost my wealth
and found my cell
but the he saved me
came so bravely
with out waiting
he came and paid see...
i had a ransom
it was quite handsome
i never planned one
would pay it at random
and it was planned
and his only demand
was i repremand
where my life stands
so i reexamened
with no commitment withstanding
my lifes planning
and gave it gladly
now he guides
and fully provides
for my eyes
and all my life

happy 100!

so for my hundreth poem of my blog (yes i have written a few others that arn't in here) i thought id try to like write some awesome thing to showcase my lyricall prowess (as if saying lyrical prowess isnt enough) but i thought after reading kristis comment why try to honor my self with this gift, when its not a gift ive given my self. i should try to honor the one who gave it to me, so this 100th poem is dedicated to my lord and savior jesus, and i only hope it can begin to please him. here we go

dear savior i thank you
for all the ways you provide
your sacrafise of life
is the reason im alive
the gifts you give
i cannot recount
this one youve given
is paramount
may my words honor you
in all the i pen
and if they do not
the let me forget them
let those who read this verse
take delight in you
and love your perfect ways
just as i do
let my fingers praise your name
as they humbly press keys
let my eyes focos on you
and make you all i see
may my lips speak your words
and my tounge taste your joy
my my nose smell your fragrance
and my ears hear your voice
in all that i do
let my be on my knees
worshiping you
father thats what i plead
make me yours make me yours
change me this day
to a man that was a sinner
to one who loves your ways
your beyond reproach
i cant questions your plan
just give me your wisdom
so i understand
give me your patience
and may you be my delight
as im loving your ways lord
all through the night
thank you father again
for all you provide
your sacrafise and truth
is what gives me life

100???

so october 30. one more day of the month and the next poem i write will be number 100. not bad considering i started mid to late july. im not gonna write #100 right now i just thought id right this to remind my self how far ive come. this is more poetry than ive ever writtin in such a short period and i have no intent to stop. i will write #100 later tonight but its gonna be a very distinct poem and i havent decided how exactally its gonna go down. as soon as i figure it out and put it togther you can count on being able to read it. untill then have a great sunday and god bless.