*shrug*

judge me oh lord according to my deeds
provide for me father according to my needs
and do as you please with the man you see
dont let me become whats inside of me
so i plead to you father again and again
when im lost and im lonely in need of a friend
i call out your name at my bitter end
thats why im so quick with these versus ive penned
im lost and im hurting hardly deserving
of the mercy youve showed its not of my earning
let me be a blessing to those that im serving
and let not my self be to me unnerving
give me patince and grace
and let me not fall of of place
into a place of utter disgrace
but let me be placed in the light of your face
oh dear father i need you now
to teach me, and train me, to show me how
to be the man that can woo and wow
men to you father so at your feet we bow
so i entreat you again father
show me how to not wander
follow your path and not be a bother
how to treat others your sons and your daughters
cause im lost and im weak
with out you i cant sleep
i can hardly keep the peace
or keep my self on my feet

curt & i

i remeber when we met
and everything was like no sweat
we handeled it togther
like two old skool vets
i look back now and wonder
on how it all went under
how two guys that were like brothers
let it all go asunder
i mean we had it all
always on the ball
where oh where my friend
did we start this fall?
the world was in our hands
met our every demand
and we could of took it over
but apart is where we stand
maybe it was the money
you started actin funny
plus i met that girl
and we started to lose our love see
but i think of you as a brother
i dont have any other
i miss your friendship man
why does it have to suffer
you got them new homies
and you wanted to show me
but i like all the old ones
i wasent feelin lonely
and then you started stack
and actin wild and wack man
then when we sit and talk
your like "yo jon man what happened?"
i hate to be so blunt
and put you out on front
but i aint gonna pull no punches
and i aint gonna pull no stunt
once you got them riches
you acted all hard and vicious
then you got popped man
and started actin on some bitch shit
you was always had a change
they say i remained the same
ive always been me homie
and this is how ill remain
but on the real tip i miss you
i aint writing this to diss you
just to say i love you man
why is are friend ship piss dude
so hit me up sometime
ill write some different lines
all about what we did
and how our friendships fine

oi

flowers on a grave
display all those dismayed
representitive of death
ambassidor to lifes waste
whats it all worth with hurt
most of us dont deserve
all the love weve got
and all that we observe
we all claim the world
to be so cruel
but thats life
and you gotta endure
try to survive
keep on the grind
lookin for blessings
or anything you can find
lookin for pieces
to this tiny little puzzle
but every piece is so big
thats why its such a struggle
how can all this big stuff
make this one small thing
most dont try to figure it out
just live for the next dream
the next thought
that brings hope
wether money women power
long nights or good dope
some on the grind
some got 9-5s
most aint go shit
to keep em alive
just a day and a night
to live and endure
one after another
a life with no cure
where is the hope
if this is all there is?
where can you turn
when survival is the biz?
if there aint nothin but this
you live and you die
why not pick up the strap
go commit homoside
why not tell me
can i ask do you smell me
you know what im saying
this comes from the belly
weighs on my heart
devours my mind
these are your questions
when you seek out to find
and when you find the answers
theres so much to accept
its a whole different life
a new kind of rep
a responsability
like you cant imagine
and a reason to live
its like damn what happened
i took a seceond
it all came into focus
grace in my life
and i kno it aint bogus
its a whole new kind of freedom
not trapped in the life
a new kind of living
not just trying to survive
so id beg you to search
and begin your journey
and when you find you answer
please tell him you heard me

meh

its not writers block
its writes dissatifaction
a distinct lack of passion
true undesire in action
but i wont start slackin
and not compeletin these words
nouns and verbs
into little poetry like blurbs
a sound byte of my mind
and lound night left behind
while your small mind cant define
the unrelenting dementing
explanation, wait maybe extrapolation
of the vocabularic vacation
the destination is hatin
these lines im creatin
but it feels so necessary
to keep going im not patient
cant wait for a moment
a break in time
to stop with these words
and just relax my mind
but i know my lack of desire
is not a lack of passion
is a general dissatifaction
with the words them selves in action
not action packed
or biting back
just writing words
that are supposed to relax
but instead impact
the facts of my life
leaving me empty
seeking nigh
so ill stop now
thought ill keep in writing
in my mind on the paper
till the words are no longer defining