Today is already much harder. She is struggling and hurting and after a day of love and patience all that pain seems to have bubbled to the surface. The easy thing for me would be to hide inside myself, or blame her, or make some excuse as to why it's not my fault, or to go get high. I won't do any of those things. I will be patient, I will love her, I will understand that I created this mess and I must get through it. I will stay sober. I live her, I have hurt her deeply, and I will not give up on us. I will keep working on change and on being anything for her that she needs me to be. I am hers and that is a life and a way of loving I will continue to grow into.