wandering

i looked at my fingers
encrusted with dirt
blood dried from the cuts
but nothing on me hurt
id ended me search
with stunning success
found what i sought
but i must digress
i started this search
when i wanted something deeper
something wanted seeking
and i was the seeker
i started and home
but my search spread to the down
across my country
though nothing was found
i scoured the earth
for what i dont know
but when i find what i seek
my face will go aglow
the last placed i searched
was one lonely field
lost and abandond
with nothing to yield
but i started digging
this last place on earth
and what i found
finally ended my search
i placed what i seeked
gently back where it was found
and covered it softly
with the displaced ground
i traveled home
i sold all that i owned
got it turned to gold
and returned to the field unknown
i checked for my treasure
it was patiently waiting
so i bought up that field
with out hesitating
spent all that i had
for that small plot of land
and what it was hiding
fit right in my hand
a small leather bound book
full of words that i needed
the more that i read it
the more i believed it
so as i sit on my plot
of land that will not yeild
i read through my book
till it was finally revealed
what i had sought
was the author not the book
and what i had found
was him so i took
a simple moment
to invite him to stay
with in my heart
forever from this day
so when you are searching
my dear friend have faith
youll find what you need
if you patiently wait

3

we sit as equals
but where all as a loss
every time we play
its nothing but a toss
as friends we are four
letters arranged
that say some thing different
but mean the same thing
confilicting contrasting
like a fresh uncut diamond
lies so much potential
but uncut and unshinin
we havd hopes and dreams
blown in the wind
but as they blow away
when can we grab them again
pictures can capture
moments in our mind
those perfect reflections
that weve left behind
so as were gathered togther
what will it mean
with no plans for the future
what can it bring
what can we really do
with out your direction
its lost in the past
with no place for reflection
just a moment captured
of history left behind
capture for you
in a poetic rhyme
but what can i offer
but these painted distractions
of what i have suffered
as useless contractions
so as we share a few moments
in this drop of eternity
help change us to you
in our iniquity

a man and his misery

as i sit here lonely
hearing fingers strike keys
i listen to the piano
and begin to weep
not hard or down pouring
just one single tear
that fall off of my cheek
and drops into my beer
i let that tear fall
for the life that ive lived
i could have been cought
but i fell through the sieve
i let that tear fall
for the ones that ive crossed
and i should let one more go
for the ones that ive lost
ive lived many years
with many regrets
when i was younger
i thought better i expect
but now that im older
i realize the truth
that life slowly slips away
till its gone in a poof
some times it goes
when you let out your last breath
my life went away
when i had nothing left
my spirit left my heart
when i turned 43
the day my wife died
and left me to be me
i found depths to my soul
i knew not exsisted
and slowly they burried me
instead of being uplifted
i found darkness in places
i expected the light
i found parts of my mind
that raced all through the night
i lost my wife the last time i cried
and i havent cried in 17 years
lost all my life
and shed not 1 tear
but as i sit here lonely
and think of this earth
i let loose with 1 tear
that it truely deserves
and when this tear falls
all of my life will be gone
but ill still be here drinking
compleatly alone
so remeber this tear
that i shed on this night
for that single tear falling
is the last of my life

a man and a son

my son was lost
and i could not find him
i searched and searched
but he ran off blindly
ive prayed every night
for his safe return
but as time passes on
it hurts worse and worse
i raised him right
with the word of the lord
but he loved this life
and fell for the world
i taught him patiently
of the lords saving grace
but he lusted for the world
to fill that place
i have not seen him
in many moons
my hearts broken for him
i pray for his return soon
who knows where hes wondered
or what hes found
i want my son home lord
safe and sound
this worlds temptations
have pulled him in
save him lord
make him free from sin
then one winter day
when the wind was biting
a lonely figure comes
down the road winding
when i reached the door
his face was not the same
laced with scars
from years of pain
his skin was yellow
from to much drinking
his hair was grey
from to much thinking
he said "father i was lost
but i have returned"
i thanked the lord
and my eyes burned
the tears came rolling
down my reddened cheeks
and i begged for breath
i could hardly breathe
my long lost son
was finally home
he said he hated this world
how it left him alone
he wanted the father
but he didnt know how
he wanted true life
and he wanted it now
he was tired of wandering
lost and depressed
of hearing his heart crying
deep in his breast
he was tired of pain
burrowed deep in his soul
he was tired of using
the world to fill in the hole
he wanted to know peace
and be able to rest
he wanted some hope
when there was none left
hed wandered the world
and found it all the same
fighting and striving
with nothing to gain
he said "father my heart
has truely been broken
not just from me
but the words ive heard spoken,
it has been broken
for every boy on this earth
whos lusting for fun
excitment and worth,
for every girl
will selfish desire
who meets terrible boys
to toss them in the fire
for every elder
thats never known true life
while they lie awake in bed
deep into the night
my heart has been broken
for all of us sinners
i know we need god father
this life is all winter"
i kissed my boy on the head
told him its time to sleep
and i went to my room
to silently weep
i cried tears of praise
to my father above
for hearing my prayers
and ansnwering with love
for protecting my son
for i thought he was dead
your my food and my water
my daily bread

so let me be more in love
like this father thats crying
i long to see your face
youve saved me from dying
your patience and truth
are a light for my feet
your strengths what i need
when ever im weak
so hold me close father
kiss me on the head
tell me you love me
then send me to bed