good morning....or good night?

theres been so much on my mind tonight its hard to explain it all. to get into it would require more hours and use of my fingers than i really have to offer. but still im sure ill find a way to say quite alot. its in my nature.
im trying to start use paragraphs so if the way stuff is broken up makes absolutly no sence dont be overly concerned. to be honest it doesnt make sence to me either. but thats how it goes some times.
ive been thinking so much today about god, what hes using me for, and how he could possibly use me. i mean i understand hes all powerful and all but my mind seriously thinks quite often, "still to use me.......thats quite a streatch." i know it must sound almost insane but its true. i dont know why he picked me. hopefully one day ill understand. if not ill still try to take joy in why he chose me, and pray as often as i can. this is an intro as to whats been on my mind regarding god, but i wont fill up this space with details.
i miss my ex alot. i dont know why and most people find it slightly stupid considering our relationship and how we treated each other. but i loved her as much as i loved my self, if not more, and i miss her dearly. it sucks.
i missed my posting today. it was a full day top to bottom but still i missed a post on the 27th and since im to honest to cheat and change the date on my post time everyones gonna know it so i might as well say it. im dissapointed in my self.
lately i feel my writing has had not heart. im just writing cause i feel like i have to. i kno some people must think its tough to write when you dont want to, or commend me through writing through a difficult time. still devoting my self to my craft. and i think that my self, but im still pissed my heart hasent been in it, with out feelings behind it my words are mearly shaddows of what they could be.
i dont get alot of comments, i kno its not that important, but still more comments then i get would be nice. but i wont complain to much i always enjoy the ones i get.
so im done rating and crying like a baby.....onto the good stuff!

the words, so empty
yet they come a pleanty
theyd me so much more
if they were spoke with energy
with heart and real feeling
not forced but come willing
id be excited
if my words were overspilling
but i still link them togther
attached for the better
i tie them up tight
like they are bound with leather
i pull them and seal them
i find them and peal them
i hope when you read them
you can find the real them
if shadows are it
then why compose it
it would be so much more
if i really felt it
so ill keep my speach brief
this one is for my relief
and to keep my fingers working
and steady my belief